


Reasons

by firstgold



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Angel Book of Days Challenge, Gen, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-02-22
Updated: 2004-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-30 22:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/336887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstgold/pseuds/firstgold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wesley remembers one of his reasons for fighting to stop vampires as he visits Faith in her hospital bed.</p><p>Set sometime before "Five by Five".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Beth C.](http://totallysoftcore.livejournal.com/profile) in the Angel Book of Days Winter Challenge.  
> Required character ~ Wesley  
> Genre ~ Angst  
> One other requirement ~ Lilah mention

The nurse at the nurse's station only looks up briefly from the Christmas gift list she is creating when the British man walks past her. He's come by off and on since the summer since they brought in the girl. Poor thing, the nurse thinks to herself, all alone and beaten up in the back of a truck. There's not a soul on the staff that hasn't heard about the girl. It's a miracle that she's still alive, even though she's been in a coma since she came in. Only two men ever came to visit her -- the Mayor before he died in the carnage of the explosion of the high school in the summer and this British man.

Wesley walks into Faith's hospital room, still wondering why he torments himself by making the drive to Sunnydale. He's not even sure why he's come today, especially after his latest encounter with the she-devil at Wolfram and Hart, Lilah. A part of him wonders if Buffy or Giles come by to visit Faith, but Buffy's off at college and Giles is…well, Wesley isn't quite sure. He hasn't talked to Giles since he found out that the Watcher's Council wouldn't pay for him to come home. The Council considers him a failure, but that's nothing new to Wesley. He's always had to contend with his father's disappointment, whether or not he's been on the good side of the Council.

Pulling up an uncomfortable plastic chair, Wesley watches the girl that he had sworn to protect lying motionless on the bed. He can hear the machines tick and hum around Faith, and he wonders if he could have done something to save her. He knows that he's not responsible for where she's ended up, but he can't help blaming himself. He believes he had a part in her demise and that's enough. The hum of the machinery takes his thoughts to another place and another time. The ghosts of his past whisper to him, and he listens.

***

Wesley sits on his bed, watching the other boys pack their bags for the winter holidays. He feels very much the outsider as the other boys laugh and jostle while packing. They're all looking forward to going home for the holidays, but Wesley is not. Subconsciously, he fingers his head boy badge and looks out the window, watching the snow collect on the sill. He hears somebody calling his name from the lounge, and immediately breaks into a smile when he recognizes the voice: Amelia. She's the one person at the Academy that doesn't make him feel like a ponce, and he's grateful for her friendship.

"Hello Wesley. Our final dinner before the holidays is about to begin. Would you care to walk with me to the dining hall?"

Amelia looks intently at Wesley, waiting for his answer. Nodding his head, he joins her and they make the short walk to the hall. Wesley notices small things about Amelia, things he never really noticed before: the curve of her hips, her slender neck, and the way her hair falls in front of her face like a curtain. He notices that his hands are a little clammy, and he wonders what has changed. Just as he begins to clear his throat to ask her about her holiday plans, they arrive at the dining hall, and take their places at the long wooden table. Mr. Travers and the other teachers, as well as some senior members from the Council, are gathered at the front of the room, waiting for the other students to file into the hall.

Wesley tries to look at everything and everyone except for Amelia, but he is drawn to her. Although she's sitting several seats down from him, he can feel her presence intently. Wesley is so distracted by Amelia's presence that it takes a couple of seconds before he realizes the lights in the hall have been turned off.

It takes a couple more seconds for him to realize that this shouldn't be happening and that Mr. Travers is telling the students to remain calm and in their seats. For the most part, the students listen, until the screaming starts.

"Vampires! Vampires! Vam-"

Screams are cut unnaturally short, and Wesley can hear students running from the dining hall. He calls out for Amelia and tries to find her in the mass of bodies. He'd pull out his stake, but he's afraid that in the dark he'd accidentally stab a fellow student, or worse, one of the senior council members.

When the lights finally do come on, Wesley finds he is alone in the dining hall. The only others that remain are dead, their throats torn out. Wesley manages to rush over to a garbage bin before he throws up. He heaves and just as he thinks there is nothing left for him to vomit up, he catches a glimpse of another torn out throat and begins to vomit again.

Weak from the exertion, Wesley lifts his head out of the garbage bin. He avoids looking at the faces of the dead students, hoping that Amelia isn't one of the unlucky students to be cut down.

Clutching the stake in his hand, Wesley slips out of the dining hall and moves through the shadows in the corridor. His heart beat is deafening; he's sure any vampire within the Academy can hear it, but he has only one purpose: to find Amelia. He can hear students screaming, and sometimes, he hears the wet gurgling of a vampire feeding. Corridors he's walked through during the day going to classes appear alien to him, and he moves through all of them.

He's not sure how long he's been looking for Amelia. It feels like hours, although he's aware he could only have been looking for her for minutes. In the back of his mind, he wonders how the vampires were able to enter the Academy. He was sure that protective wards were in place, and besides, vampires had to be invited in.

Sliding the door to his right open, he enters the darkened room. He retches as the smell of blood fills his nose, and he fumbles for a handkerchief -- anything -- to cover his face in an attempt to be able to breathe. Fumbling along the wall, he finds a light switch, but as soon as he turns it on, he wishes he hadn't.

The walls are covered in blood, and Wesley recognizes some of his classmates. Their throats have all been torn out. Blood still flows from some of their wounds, and unseeing eyes are aimed at him. Broken glass crunches underneath his feet as he searches for any survivors. Whoever had done this relished cruelty and torture.

He finds her curled up in a corner. Bloodied glass lies just out of reach of her hands. As he approaches her, she flinches and pulls her knees up to her chest. Wesley wants to rush up to her and let her know she is now safe, but he knows that would be unwise. Until the vampires are gone, none of them would be safe.

Only as he got closer to her did he notice the sheen of sweat on her face and how pale she was. Something was not right.

"They came. So much blood…so much pain. No. No! Tired to stop them. No! Tried to run!"

Amelia's head jerks and her hands spasm in front of her, blocking phantom blows. Wesley reaches out and gently holds her wrists. His hands have difficulty finding purchase as warm blood courses down her arms.

"Amelia…"

"He made me watch. Couldn't run. No turning away. They made me watch Wesley. They made me…they…they…"

Tears stream down her face and he gently wipes them away. Straining to hear her, Wesley doesn't hear the soft footfalls behind him.

Amelia's voice drops an octave.

"He made me drink. They held me and he made me drink their blood."

Amelia weakly gestures at the dead bodies in the room. Her breathing begins to slow down and Wesley borders on frantic. He has never faced real vampires before. Sure he's head boy, but all of his knowledge comes from books. As much as he wants to avenge Amelia and his classmates, he's pretty sure he would lose control of his bowels if he faced a real vampire.

This time, Wesley hears the faint footfalls behind him, but only after the hair on the back of his neck bristles. Before Wesley can react, a boot comes in contact with the small of his back. Fighting off the coming dark, he curls into a ball, trying to give his attacker the smallest target possible. The boots come closer to him, but the next attack doesn't come from them. Instead, the vampire picks him up by the throat and slams him against the wall. Holding him there, the vampire easily disarms Wesley of the stake he had forgotten he was holding.

His pulse racing, Wesley looks at his aggressor. If he could hazard a guess, as a man the vamp before him must have been involved in the army, maybe even involved in World War II. He has that clean cut, all-American look about him. Squirming as little as possible to maintain some form of dignity, Wesley tries to catch his breath. At least his bowels are holding up.

"How does it make you feel? Seeing her lying there, knowing I've destroyed her?" The vamp hisses the words out at him. His hand is bitterly cold on Wesley's throat. Dots began to swim in front of his eyes as he tries to gasp out a response.

Not satisfied with his attempt, the vamp shakes him before asking again. Still unable to reply, Wesley tries to dislodge the vamp's hand from his throat. The vamp tosses him across the room as if he was a rag doll, and Wesley lands in a heap on the floor. Where his face has broken his fall, he's bleeding, and when he tries to stand up, his abdomen feels like it is on fire. Wesley scrambles in his pockets, trying to find the crucifix that he usually keeps there.

"Looking for something?" Wesley frantically scans the floor around him, and sees his crucifix...lying on the other side of the vamp. Scrambling towards Amelia, Wesley looks for something -- anything -- he could use against the vampire.

From down the hall, the sound of running can be heard, and Wesley thinks he hears Mr. Travers giving orders.

"Remember this day. We all need a reason, maybe I've just given you yours."

With one last kick aimed at Wesley's head, the vamp knocks him out, leaving no witnesses to his exit of the Academy.

***

Wesley comes to in a hospital bed. Half of his face is covered in bandages, and he feels like he has drunk too much of his father's scotch. The room slowly comes into focus, and Wesley wonders how much time had passed since he had been knocked out. He doesn't remember much of the encounter, except for pain and...

Amelia.

He has to know if she is alright.

Trying to get out of bed, he sets off an alarm, and the shock of the sudden noise causes him to sprawl out on the floor. A nurse immediately enters the room and helps him back into bed.

"There you are. You're to stay in bed, Mr. Travers' orders." The nurse looks Wesley in the eye as she said this. She reminds him of his mother, and he could feel a smile tugging on the edges of his mouth, but it dies when he remembers why he had been getting out of bed.

"Amelia. Where's Amelia Haversham?" Wesley's voice is scratchy, and it feels like the back of his throat is covered in ashes or dried blood, or a combination of the two. He lets the nurse fuss him back underneath the sheets.

Wesley waits for the nurse to answer him, and when she doesn't, he asks again. He tells her everything he can remember about how Amelia looked and what she was wearing. The nurse tries not to look him in the eye and fusses with the sheets at the end of the bed. She busies herself with checking Wesley's I.V., and only when her eyes accidentally make contact with his, Wesley knows where Amelia is.

She's not in a hospital bed.

She's dead.

He blinks back the tears that threaten to stream down his cheeks, and waits for the nurse to leave. When she finally does, he lets the tears fall. He wonders how he could have protected her, and if he had only sat beside her at dinner instead of beside the other prefects if she would still be alive right now. He clenches his fists, and he wonders if this was what the vampire had meant by giving him a reason.

***

"Visiting hours are over now, sir. I'm afraid you'll have to leave."

Wesley is jarred back to reality by the voice of the nurse. He's no longer eighteen in a hospital bed in England; he's back in Sunnydale, keeping his quiet vigil with Faith. He thanks the nurse, and picks up his jacket. He makes it to the door of her room before he stops and takes one last look at the Slayer. He knows that this will be the last time that he visits her. Too many painful memories come to the surface when he sits beside her bed, and he knows that Angel and Cordy need him at his sharpest if they are too make any difference in Los Angeles.

He has reasons to continue his fight, and one of them is still alive.


End file.
